So as probably a lot of you know, I went bungee jumping this past Monday! You probably undoubtedly know this if you have me on facebook, or if i've talked to you at all since then. Cause it was ridiculously amazing! When me and my friend Francesca decided to go, it seemed pretty expensive to pay $130 to jump ff a bridge - a maybe 2 or 3-minute experience. But when it was all over, I decided it was amazingly well worth the money. It was for sure the biggest high I've ever had. And even though it was the scariest thing I've ever done and I was freaked out of my mind, it was also probably the awesomest thing I've ever done. I enjoyed it hugely and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Like I said, I was ridiculously scared. I knew I wanted to jump, because I knew it would be awesome. But my instincts screamed against it. When we got to the bridge, Cesca wanted to watch somebody jump. One of the people working there told us that if we watched someone jump, we'd never do it. So we quickly kept walking. All the screaming I kept hearing wasn't really helping much, I was freaking out.
The good thing about it, was that it all happened relatively quickly. We had to cross the bridge to get to the office. I tried not to look down. They gave us tickets, and we went to the middle of the bridge. The people working up there were super friendly and easy-going, kinda calmed me down a bit. The harness took literally 2 seconds to put on, so I was kinda worried that the thing wasn't actually on right. The guy asked me if I was ready and i said "NO!", so he gave me a little pep talk thing. "Don't give yourself any other option other than jumping," he said. "Don't even think about it. Don't even hesitate, you'll just make it worse. It's normal to be scared. Everything in you is going to tell you not to jump off that platform, but do it anyways. Once you get off that bridge it's going to be the coolest feeling in the world. Trust me."
Trust me. I'm sure he said that at least 5 times in the 5 minutes before I jumped. "Trust me, you're going to love it. Trust me, you're not going to die. Trust me, that harness is on right. Trust me, just jump." And i didn't realize until after that jumping off that bridge actually did require trust. Trust in some guy I didn't know to harness me up right so I wouldn't die. Trust in that bungee cord that it wouldn't break. Jump off the bridge 200 feet from the ground, trusting that I would get back on that bridge alive.
And a few short minutes later, I did. He asked me, "How was it?" and I said "AWESOME!" And then i watched my friend jump, and that was that.
Later, that made me start thinking alot more about trust. What exactly is it? I googled it, and found out that it is "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something." Yessss! Such a good word. Then I remembered a few months back one of the discussions I'd had with Adam (youth pastor) about trust. I remembered him telling me to go through the Psalms and circle all the "trusts" I found in it. And that when I did, I was amazed at the number of them. There are actually no less than 71 uses of the word "trust" in the Psalms alone. That's 71 out of the total 188 "trust"s in the Bible.
So then I dug out the piece of paper that had Adam's random scribbled notes from that discussion months ago. I found those two words, "patience and trust." And then underneath that, was something written and underlined and boxed that I had kinda forgotten about. It said "I will give you what you need to get you where you need to go. Shut up and wait."
What's weird is how true that's been lately. Especially with deciding to go to YWAM so late. I think it wasn't until May when I even started thinking about doing it, and I definitely wasn't expecting to do it in September. I'm pretty sure that discussion was before YWAM even came up, at a time when I was pretty sure God didn't want me to go anywhere.
"I will give you what you need to get you where you need to go."
1. I had a youth leader who went to ywam jax, and told me about it
2. I had an amazing youth pastor who never failed to remind me of God's plan and will
3. I had a job that I liked, and my dad agreed to give me a second job until i left, so i could work lots
4. My parents agreed to let me go, with no second thoughts
5. My school gave me a bursary and two scholarships, which made it possible for me to actually go
Pretty much, so far everything has worked out incredibly well at such a short notice. I guess I can't deny that God really does have a plan for me. And that just because He doesn't show it to me all at once, doesn't mean it's not already in place since before the foundation of the world. (another Adam discussion...actually, probably more than one now that I think about it. I have a kinda thick skull).
And that quote, "I will give you what you need to get you where you need to go. Shut up and wait.", really ties those two together. The first is about trust. Just like the guy on the bungee jumping bridge, God says "Trust me. Don't try to do things your own way, don't think you have control over your own life or what you do with it. That gets you nowhere. Trust me to carry out my plan in you and trust me not to let you fall. Trust me to give you what you need, to take you to the place that I want you to be in. Trust me to pick you up when you fall, trust me to give you the people and the circumstances that you need to help pick you up when you fall and guide you in the right way. Trust me."
And the second part too is huge. Sometimes I just keep talking much too loud to hear God say anything. I get worried and confused that my life has no direction and that there's no point. when what i need to do, is shut up and wait. Wait for God's timing. not my own. There was another word just above that box on that paper, capitalized. It said "LISTEN." Shut up and wait for God to show you the way, because He sure is a whole lot smarter than I am.
so, I'm gonna keep working on patience and trust. And a month and 3 days until Florida! I'm actually getting excited to see what God wants to do with me there, because I'm pretty sure by now He wants me there.
